Category: personality development

Decisions Decisions in life

by mallikalotus, posted in articles, personality development

A Decision is an action or process of deciding something or of resolving a question or a problem. Life is a bundle of choices and decisions. Once a human achieves the age to make his/her decisions, the bundle of decisions yarn appears in their hands. It is their choice, which colour(priority like riches, peace, love, luxury, service etc) they would choose and how they weave the yarn to make a beautiful cloth which will be the product of their decisions. 

Let us see in this article, a few points about decisions…

  1. Always make positive decisions:

One can not predict the exact and complete outcome of a decision, will be either positive or negative as a lot of variables would influence the outcome. I can name this para as do not choose negative decisions like ending one’s life or their own life due to the hardships and sorrows but positiveness starts from positive thinking and positive reference as well. 

For example, let’s take the case of suicide or doing harm to someone. It is also a decision but, a negative decision and the outcome will have a negative impact. Negative decisions definitely will have at least a little bit of negative outcome. 

A positive decision will try to move us in a positive direction and the chance of development is more. So, always make positive decisions to improve in the right directions like improving health, finances, savings, happiness, connecting to good relations etc. One Positive thought every day keeps us healthy as thoughts become decisions.

2. Decide bravely and own your decision bravely:

Sometimes one should be brave in making decisions. The decision may be simple or a life-altering situation but still, we should be brave enough to take that decision. In the Telugu language, there is an old proverb, “Dhairye saahase Lakshmi”, meaning one who is brave will attain treasures (Lakshmi). Here Lakshmi is the Hindu goddess of wealth but the analogy here is that it may be riches, peace, comforts, happiness. One who steps forward bravely will have what he desires. Let me tell a real-life example which I heard and it is true and happened. There was a movie producer who wanted to produce a special effects movie which required a big budget. He finished the movie and after seeing the first final copy of the movie, he didn’t like the copy as he was not satisfied with the work. So, he burnt the copy and again started the shooting. The second copy was finished and again he was not satisfied, By this time, his finances were spent and if he wanted to finish the movie, he should borrow the finance from others. If that movie does not succeed, he would be bankrupt and he would not have a single penny in his hand. That situation was very tough and all his friends and family advised him to continue with the second copy and release the movie. At least, he might get little profits. But he did not agree and wanted a satisfying copy. so, he sold all his assets and again started the shooting. All his people were against his decision but he believed and with bravery took that decision. The shooting was completed and the final third copy was ready. That producer was satisfied and he released the movie. It was a super hit and he gained 5 times more profit. 

A question arises here, what if the movie failed? yes, there was a chance for that but that person had confidence in his decision and took it bravely and he owned the consequences as well bravely. Whatever the outcome may be, one should own it and be prepared for that also.

3. Decision to achieve your dream or passion:

Everyone has a dream, a passion or an ambition and should have one to grow in life. One should take a solid decision to fulfil that ambition. In the end, they may or may not achieve that dream in the first attempt, but in that process, they will learn something important which makes them a better person some more. The quote, “Aim for the sky, at least you will land on the stars.” proves this point. 

4. Decisions to choose a road:

Life is a journey which has many roads which would come our way as we journey through life. Some are long, short, smooth, rocky, crooked and straight paths. Some roads lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious path. Some lead to fame and fortune on one hand or isolation and poverty on the other. Some are gateways to happiness, some to sadness, some towards victory and jubilation, and some to defeat and disappointment. One can not see the end of that road unless taken that path.

In choosing the road, follow your gut feeling, priorities and the resources available initially. Think before choosing a road and don’t turn back after choosing.

5. What is the end of a decision?:

Just like any road in life, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that one would encounter in life is a crossroad. Four different roads in four different directions which lead to four different paths. When one encounters a crossroad, it is a little bit tricky to choose which road to follow with limited knowledge of where one has to go? Where that road leads and what would be the end destination of choosing that path? What is the guarantee that one would choose the right one along the way? One should take any road, or just stay in front of a crossroad? Staying in front of a crossroad is not an option as one should move forward in a direction not backwards.

One does not know where a road will lead until it is taken. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things to be realized about life. 

6. What if a decision is wrong?:

Decisions can be right or wrong or neutral. One can not always control the outcome of a decision and nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead to happiness. For example, loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it will be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Wrong decisions are always at hindsight. If one knew that they are making a wrong decision, they will not make that decision, right? No one will not choose a road in which they will get lost or not reach their destination. The only thing that one has power over is the choice to make a decision and how to act and react to that outcome. If the decision is right, it is an inspiration to the next decision and if it is wrong, then it becomes a lesson to learn and improve. 

If we fall, let it be, we learn to get up. If we get up, we learn to continue the journey by making another decision. Life is a bundle of decisions and experiences. Be bold in making a decision and be brave to see that destination.

Happy living!

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Bring Innovation into your Life

by mallikalotus, posted in articles, personality development

Bring innovation into your life! How to bring it?

Is it that difficult? But I say that life itself is an innovation. Every development in our life is like an innovation. Through innovation called hard work, we make life more productive. Innovation is nothing but doing things in a new or different way, a new method or a new idea. Like hard work, it is also a stepping stone to success. A quote says “If a plan doesn’t work, change the plan but never the goal”. Innovation is similar to the quote. It is like a road to a destination. If one road doesn’t help in reaching the destination, change the route but it should be in a positive direction. It is like an experiment to make something work. It can be an idea to boost business or it can be a new way to achieve a goal. 

Let me share one of my experiences, a couple of months ago, my cousin shared an observation with me. When she told me I realised that it is an innovative idea of a breakfast street vendor (a person who sells breakfasts in the morning by roaming streets). He used to sell 5 different types of South Indian breakfasts to students near a college. Generally, the price of a plate breakfast (A plate may consist of 4 idlis or 2 dosas or 2 vadas or 2 puris or a cup of upma or Pongal) is between 20 to 30 rupees in Indian currency. If a student wants more than one item, the price would be around Rs.50.00 which is not affordable for a student daily. That vendor though he is moderately educated, applied an innovated idea in his business. Instead of giving 4 idlis or 2 dosas for 20 or 30 rupees, he sold one idly or dosa for Rs.5.00 or Rs.10.00. Then for twenty or 30 rupees, a student can have a combo of an idly, dosa, puri or another item within their budget. The sales of that vendor improved and the profit also. Here the business is the same but the presentation is different which improved and made a customer happy. That is the power of innovation. It not only applies to business or career but to personal growth also. I say, in fact without innovation life will be boring and dull. 

Let’s see the ways how innovation can be developed…

1. A talent everyone has:

Innovation like creativity is not rocket science, to think that it can be acquired by experts or people with high IQ. Everyone is born creative and it is a talent everyone has but we need to bring it out from our selves. It starts with the crayon box or Lego bricks in kindergarten. In fact, human birth and body is a sculpture of creativity and human civilization is full of innovations and inventions. Whenever we marvel at someone’s creativity, it a sign that we too can create and innovate because like minds will recognise the talent. It just takes time to bring the innovative side and with a bit of practice, this creative talent comes easily when called.

2. Listen to your creative mind:

Every mind is unique in the creative process. One person’s thoughts are different from another person. If any new idea lights up in your mind bulb, do not waste your time and effort trying to make people understand it or for their feedback. If the feedback is negative then it may diminish your thinking.

It is better to follow the rhythm of your own mind drum. If we listen and take other people’s input, it may bring cacophony to the music of innovation you are trying to compose. Build your idea on a positive note and spend time on it to analyse its impact on reality but make sure it would not impact your daily life or career entirely. A little discipline and time management is necessary for everything.

3. A fit body and a fit mind:

A fit body leads to a fit mind. For each and every development in our life, health is very important and physical health is directly proportional to mental health. Exercise like walking, running a mile, burning some calories should be our daily routine. When we exercise, our body releases chemicals called endorphins which run coursing through our veins. These endorphins interact with the brain receptors which reduce any depression or pain. Studies proved that regular exercise reduces stress, boost self-esteem and improve sleep. A good sleep result in a fresh and healthy mind which is the base for creativity. 

4. Don’t ignore your dreams:

I say that dreams are the spirit and sources of innovative ideas. They are the craziest stories, emotions and images that our subconscious mind create while we sleep. They are like the untapped innovative power lying within us. Record those dreams by jotting down those notes as possible. Who knows the mind has kick-started the innovative spark. Maintaining a dream journal helps us to note down the details of a dream quickly or even vaguely also. Maybe one of the dreams can become the outline of a great story or novel. 

5. Find your own style:

Every person has their own style in doing things like writing, giving speeches, cooking, driving etc. It is good to stick to one’s own style while delivering or implementing an innovative idea. People will appreciate more if the idea is uniquely yours and in your unique style and on one else has got that idea. It helps people to recognise what a valuable asset the idea is or that person who has such an innovative mind. Opportunities naturally come to those with a talent and an opportunity is the stepping stone to an experience.

6. No need for hi-fi things:

While implementing an idea, there is no need for hi-fi things like nifty gadgets or tools. One doesn’t need the most expensive set of paints, smooth papers, costly pens, expensive camera etc. to produce a masterpiece. The now billionaire world-famous writer J.K Rowling wrote her first book of the Harry Potter series on bits of tissue paper. The content of an idea is more important than its presentation. Remember something great or destined to be great will start from simplicity, like the e-commerce bigshot Amazon which started in a garage. 

7. Passion:

Passion adds colour to our dream to achieve something in life. It is like a thought which wakes us up in the mornings, which keeps the flame of our inner desire burning and it is that one thing that makes a person think that they will die if they don’t do it. That is passion. One famous personality once quoted that if you are not doing something that you want to do, then you really do not want to do it and it is true. If we really want to do something, we definitely begin the process and keep going. 

Sometimes it is possible that passion takes over talent. Talented people are overtaken by the people who want it to happen more. Those people have the inner fire to make that thing to happen and taste success just like the moral in the story of “Hare and The Tortoise”. This is the passion that will keep you moving forward towards your goals which begin with ideas.

8. Inspiration is around you:

Inspiration, Innovation and Implementation are the three key factors to achieve anything. If we can see, inspiration is always around us and if one is not able to see, try not to worry because it can’t be forced. It has to come naturally and it hits when we are not expecting for it but when it comes we have to be ready to welcome it, understand it and to embrace it. An innovative idea can strike us on anytime for example, in a bar, on a subway, while observing people etc. We just need to pen down the idea as soon as we feel it. It is better to have a pen and a piece of paper or any means within an arm’s reach at all times to record the idea. Who knows maybe that idea would change the world someday for good.

One last important thing is that innovation should bring self-satisfaction and the greater good for ourselves and for those around us including the environment and planet on which we live. It is our duty as highly developed beings to look after ourselves and the other living beings on this Earth. 

Let an innovation lead to happiness and healthy living!

10 reasons why women like Alpha men:

by mallikalotus, posted in articles, personality development

Ever wonder, why women usually like and prefer Alpha men and what distinguishes them from others?

The word “Alpha” is just not only a term but it is also a title. It has significance like, it is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and in astronomy, it is the brightest star in a constellation. In simple terms, alpha means “to be the first”. 

Women adore Alpha men. They are the heroes in the romantic imaginations and ecstasies of women in their sleepless nights. These are the men who get women’s attention wherever they go.

Let us see the ten characteristics of Alpha men:

  1. Leadership: 

            Alpha men are born leaders. Leadership is their main quality and capability and are born to lead a pack like a hunter and the ever-reliable godlike figure. 

   2. Power and power of attraction:

            They possess power and the power of attraction. Women naturally are drawn to this power and attraction. The attraction is not just about the money or luxuries but it is also for the immense strength in the character which makes them respectable by their peers.

     3. Dominant:

             Dominance oozes from Alpha men and spreads like current waves within the radius of their presence.  An alpha man has strong vocal dominance about what he wants and does everything to achieve his desire. He has a semblance of authority in his voice which attracts both male and females. 

     4. Cockiness: 

             It is one such favourite trait which is inbuilt in the personality of alpha men and it is like a jewel in their personality crown. Some women secretly desire their cockiness as they are so much cocky.

    5. Raw confidence:

             An alpha man is confident about his looks and physique though he may not be handsome and he is confident about his intelligence though he may not be highly qualified. Women are attracted to this confidence that emanates from them. With this raw confidence, an alpha carries himself and it can be seen in dealing, treating and guiding others.

    6. Masculinity:

             The social structure of the animal kingdom and human society is similar.  In the animal kingdom, the alpha or the dominant males get to mate with the females. There is a principle that the alpha males will most probably produce better offsprings. 

This is similar to human society and the alpha men possess powerful virility and are all macho.

   7.  Aggressive and peace:

             They lead the pack with aggressive behaviour. They are not only known for their aggressive rule but they are also excellent peacemakers. They have the ability to stop fights in need of times in a dignified manner. They stand by their principles and cannot be dictated by others.

For example, Gandhi is an alpha male who is a charismatic leader and who refused to give up his cause even in pressure. He won his battle with the indestructible power of non-violence and truth.

8. Ability to achieve their dreams:

          Alpha men possess dareness to dream and to achieve them. They work hard and have high self-esteem believing that they have the power to do anything they want which helps in achieving their dreams. They do not boast about their strength.

9. Protectiveness:

          Women naturally crave for protection and security. Alpha men are natural protectors of their kin and their woman. Women sense the warmth of protection in the strong alpha arms. Once an alpha man considers a woman as his, he will go to any extent to give protection to her and fights with everything coming in the way. 

10. Assertiveness:

An Alpha man is always assertive but not to the point of being pushy. He knows what he wants and how to get it. He asserts his rights and the rights of his friends. He knows what he can do in the process of achieving what he wants. This makes the alpha man so popular with the pack. Women love this trait which adds to his confidant to get the best girl in town. Girls usually flock around him.

Every woman dreams of a good and brave man who can love and protect her. Alpha men have all the above qualities and will always be the dream heroes of women!

Life through the window of Optimism

by mallikalotus, posted in articles, personality development

Is life, like the scenery outside of our house window? From a window, we can see the blue skies, the blooming flowers, the busy streets, the happiness and sadness of people.

Everything from the day to day life will be the same but it is our perception and opinion that will differ and that will change the outlook towards life. For example, “Two men look out through the same window bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars” is the quote by ‘Frederick Langbridge’ in his book- “A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts”. The bars, the mud, the stars are all same but the look and observation of those two men are different. 

I believe life is what we make it. Life is what we see through our window of perception and beliefs. Say, if you have placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results to be in the first place for the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again? 

Life is a bucket full of choices that we can take. Usually, life can be viewed in two ways: a pessimist way or an optimist way. It is our choice who we can be, whether an optimist or a pessimist. Intellectual people will always try to be an optimist for the betterment of life and research shows that it really pays to be an optimist. 

Let us see how optimists act and 10 reasons why we should nurture optimism or an optimist point of view……..

1. Optimism is to wish, to believe those good things to happen to us in our life. Good things like success, happiness, long healthy life etc. This wishful thinking makes us fight, work hard for those goodies. 

2. Optimism increases positive mood, good morale, academic and occupational success, popularity, good health, freedom from trauma or depression. 

3. Pessimism leads to depression, to believe bad events will happen which will last a long time and makes us undermine everything we do and ultimately make us feel that it is our own fault. It affects not only the middle-aged adults in the same way but also the younger people as well. The mean age of onset has gone from 15 to 30 years. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder as well.

4. Optimists expect the best. The truth is that optimists are also confronted with the same hard knocks and struggles of this world as pessimists. What differs is the way optimists explain their misfortune or failure in the opposite way. They tend to believe that defeat is just a temporary setback and its causes are confined to that one case and not to the whole life.

5. Optimists tend to focus on the problem at hand and plan for solving and solution. They use the method of positive reinterpretation. By this method, they reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. This makes them unfazed by a bad situation or experience and helps them to perceive it as a challenge which in turn make them try harder. If they fall, they will stand up again.

6. Optimists have positive expectations which help to predict better reactions and changes during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. They see opportunities instead of obstacles. 

Unlike pessimists, they won’t believe and say “things will never get better”, “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.” 

7. Optimism seems to be a socially desirable trait in all communities. People respond positively to optimists because they are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They usually draw people towards them and find no need to control or manipulate people. Their optimism is generally accepted and their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those around them. In life, these people are sought for advice, get voted most congenial and often win elections.

The people who spread negative waves like gloom, panic and hysteria in the environment are treated unfavourably. 

8. Optimists get tougher and maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress and tougher situations. They persevere with patience and just don’t give up easily. Thus they inch their way a step closer to their goals or elusive dreams.

Whereas pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. They are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

9. Medical research shows that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight disease. Optimists are healthier, live longer and their health is unusually good. They get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts. These people age naturally but feel young than the people experiencing the usual physical ills of middle age.  

10. An optimist looks forward to success in all their endeavours and is resilient. They think positively towards a more fulfilled life. 

Everybody is bound to hit lows sometimes but we just can’t stay there forever. We should carry ourselves out of the mud and improve our chances of getting back on the right track. Why not inspire others to remove their dark-coloured glasses and see life on the bright side!

7 ways of Self-Improvement

by mallikalotus, posted in articles, personality development

One of the truths of life is that to live and to improve our selves, positively in necessary aspects of our lives. Self-improvement and self-esteem are important factors in personality development. Some times whatever care we take and however we tend to lose our self-esteem due to various factors but we should try to maintain it at any cost. Maintaining self-esteem helps for self-improvement. Let us see 7 ways to improve ourselves:

  1. Know your purpose:

                In spirituality, it is said that everyone on this Earth is born with a purpose and they should fulfil it in their lifetime. One should try and identify their purpose or mission statement whether it is health, happiness, prosperity etc and should try to achieve it. It acts as our compass which leads to our true north(success) in life. Achieving that purpose may seem tricky and one can find themselves at dead-end sometimes but with hard work and sincerity, there will be a way to turn things around which can make a big difference to ourselves.

  1. Know your values:

                 Everyone values something in their lives. One should know what are their top five values in their lives. They may be security, freedom, family, spiritual development, gaining knowledge etc. Our purposes or goals should match with our values. If the goal does not align with any of our top five values, we should reconsider them or revise them. In this process, one should not be discouraged but should be motivated to achieve the goals which are in sync with values. This leads to fulfilling our dreams which have purposes and values. 

  1. Know your needs:

                 Needs are a little bit different from goals and values. One should know what we need physically, mentally and to survive in this society positively and they require immediate attention. One may have the need to be acknowledged for their hard work, need to be right, need to be in control, need to be in love etc. If the need is not met, it may lead to an unauthentic life. Many people live their lives without having a proper idea of their needs and they end up being stressed or depressed. Overcoming stress and depression is an important aspect of self-improvement. List your top four needs and get them met before it’s too late!

  1. Know your passions:

                 Passions add colour to life. They make one realise who they are and what one truly enjoy in life. One shouldn’t suppress passions with obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm which hinder the progress and lead to the derailment of one’s chance to become the person they ought to be. Fulfilment of passions leads to satisfaction which is an important treasure in life. In this process gratitude and honour should be expressed to the people who had encouraged and supported.

  1. Know your strengths:

               Strengths and weaknesses are part of human personality. Identifying one’s strengths and developing them is the symbol of self- improvement. One should have an idea of their strengths, positive traits and special talents like imaginative, witty etc. List the top three strengths and if one finds difficult to realise, don’t hesitate to take the help of your near and dear ones. Sometimes they would know our strengths better than us. Explore different ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. Self-confidence improves when we share what we know with others. 

  1. Know your inner self:

                   Some times we should listen to our inner self. Feel what our inner being is silently saying to us. There are many things by which we can awaken our inner person like daily spending some time in silence. Silence speaks many things and it helps to find answers to our most complicated situations or problems. Take a deep breathe when the mind is distracted. Make a 5-minute meditation as a part of your daily life. Try to spend some time in the lap of nature for peace as most of us are city stickers who can’t find peace and quietness even in our own homes. One of the powerful things in this nature is music. Listen to the music of your choice as it does soothe our inner self even if it is a beast. 

  1. Know how you can help others:

                There is an old saying in Sanskrit- “Paropakaaraardhamidham sareeram” meaning this body should be used to serve others that means we should help others as much as possible in our lives. When we live authentically and are true who we are, we develop an interconnected sense of being. When we give our talents to the world around us, we give back in service what we came to share with others. We come to this world with the help of parents, we grow by sharing many things in this world and it is our turn to help or to serve others. The rewards for helping or sharing our talents with those in need may be simple or great. It may be an appreciation or gratitude in the eyes of a stranger whom you served. Helping others gives a level of contentment which may not come or experienced elsewhere. 

On the final note, self-improvement is a work of worth and shouldn’t be confined like a building or four walls of a room but it should be like flying openly in the sky. Remember the difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.